And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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