That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
