when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
