I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
