I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize