I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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