I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
