PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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