just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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