I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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