is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
