The maid of honor just puked.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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