We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
