I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
