my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize