Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
