I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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