pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
