is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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