do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
