At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
