Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
His hands were made for my vagina.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
