I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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