He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
