clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
