Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
