just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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