It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
