Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
