yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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