its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
