so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
