I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
