Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
this boner is exhausting
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
