There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
oh god was she eating orange peels again
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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