i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
