sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize