A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
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