we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize