Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
where am i from again
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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