So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize