So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
high people should be assigned attendants
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
