At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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