haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
