For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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