God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
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