I must be too annoying 4 u.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
