yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
