ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Terrible idea I love it
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
