She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
