whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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