Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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