I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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