yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm passing your future prison.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
