I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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